


Clean Slate

by catty_the_spy



Category: Dollhouse
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 21:31:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catty_the_spy/pseuds/catty_the_spy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You ever clean an actual slate?” </p><p>Paul is trying to find the Dollhouse; Kilo just wants to be his best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clean Slate

After

“I’m ready to crack this thing wide open,” Paul says.

“That’s great man,” Travis says, “you’ve been working really hard.”

“All I need to do is piece these last few clues together, and I swear – the Dollhouse comes down.”

The van slowed to a stop.

“It’s really great you got reinstated; we were all rooting for you.”

“Yeah, just make sure this treatment’s quick alright? I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

He changed quickly once he got in the building, practically jogging upstairs when he was done.

“If I could just figure out _where_ it is….”

The man in the chair room smiles nervously, but Paul is used to people doubting him. “I’m sure you’ll work it out soon.”

Paul sits in the chair. “I hope so.”

 

Kilo enjoys swimming. He swims thirty laps a day; it helps him to be his best.

He wants to be his best.

Dr. Saunders tells him he cannot swim today because he had a deep cut on his side. He doesn’t remember getting cut. 

He likes Dr. Saunders; she’s nice.

Kilo looks at a book instead. He likes to see the pictures. November looks at it with him; he likes November – she’s his friend. Sometimes he thinks November was different once, be he does not know why. Her hair is black. 

November is sad that he cannot swim today, but she thinks Dr. Saunders is nice too. 

When they finish with the book, Kilo goes to art class and November climbs the rock wall. They have ice cream with dinner. It’s a good day.

 

Paul swears at the ghost of another dead end. He turns to go back to his apartment when a man approaches from the other end of the alley. 

“Hey!” Paul raises his side arm. “Brotchev got something else to say to me?”

“Whoa, Paul, it’s okay! It’s just time for your treatment. Put the gun down.”

Paul hesitated. “Who are you?”

“I’m Travis. Your treatment, Paul. Would you like a treatment?”

Paul holstered his weapon. “A treatment sounds nice, I guess.”

 

Kilo likes massages. They’re relaxing. 

Dr. Saunders gives him candy after his exam – Dr. Saunders is nice. Kilo saves it for November. November likes candy very much.

The pasta during dinner is firm.

 _Al dente_ is Italian for “ow my teeth!” It’s a joke. Kilo thinks it’s funny.

November doesn’t laugh.

 

“I wish you were real,” Connie says, when Aaron tucks her into bed.

“Of course I’m real, sweetie.”

“You won’t be here tomorrow. You’ll be gone, just like before.”

He hates to see his little girl cry. He pulls her into his arms and kisses the top of her head. “I’ll be here forever. I promise.”

 

Echo asks “Why are you here?” and Kilo says “I like the sauna.”

“You were different.”

“I’m sorry?”

“They made you different.”

Kilo doesn’t understand. Echo is confusing him.

For a while, Echo doesn’t say anything else. It’s quiet; Kilo likes the quiet.

“Paul,” Echo says, very quietly.

Who is Paul?

 

Jack works for Harley Maynard. His job is to make sure nothing and no one disrupts this meeting, but Maynard’s daughter – Caroline – is crying. He has to help Caroline.

“I think they killed her,” Caroline gasps out. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“Did they follow you here?”

“I don’t know! I don’t-”

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you, alright?”

Maynard will be fine. He has to save Caroline.

 

“Everyone is unhappy today.”

“Gah!”

Kilo looks at the man who gives them their treatments. “That woman was unhappy with Echo. Was she not her best?”

“I hate when they – you get curious, and you come up here, and at first everything’s great, but then there’s revelations and shouting and…and you don’t understand a word I’m saying.”

“You’re not happy because I’m here?”

“Okay maybe you understand me a little. I just…this has been a really stressful day.”

“Stress is bad for you,” Kilo says. “You should get a massage. Massages reduce stress and relax sore muscles.” He pauses. “Dr. Saunders can help. If you are hurting, she can make you better.”

The man takes a shaky breath. He looks like he should see Dr. Saunders.

“I don’t think she can help me.”

“Can I help?”

“Can he help? Heh, can he help! That’s uh…actually. Actually maybe you can. Sit down.”

Kilo does so. “Am I getting a treatment?”

“Yes! Sort of!”

 

He is Charlie, and he is amazing with…well…everything. He shakes his head at the mess in the imprint room.

“What did you do, shoot these?”

Topher laughs; he sounds a little hysterical. “You have no idea.”

“Well I can fix it, _and_ I can help you put up some short of shield. You need to keep backups of all this on site – maybe upstairs? – in case something like this happens again.”

“Sure thing,” Topher says. “Can I get you anything?”

Charlie thinks about asking for an antipsychotic, because Topher looks like he’s dangling by a thread. Instead he looks down. “Real pants, maybe? Pajamas are comfy, but I need something with pockets.”

 

"You drew a picture," Echo says.

Kilo nods. "I did. I like to draw."

“Who are you drawing?”

“Caroline.”

Echo leans in closer. “You know Caroline?”

Kilo blinks at her. “Do I?”

 

“This is your first time?” Carter asks. Josh is the first man he’s fallen for in a long while; he wants this to be amazing.

“I know the basics,” Josh says. His blush travels down his chest. Carter follows the path with his mouth. He likes the way Josh’s breath stutters when he reaches his shorts.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of-of course.”

Carter wants to – needs to – make this amazing.

 

Kilo does yoga. He makes a tree in art class. He paints a picture. He jogs three miles every day on a treadmill. He swims thirty laps. Dr. Saunders gives him candy after an exam. He eats lunch with Echo sometimes. He and November look at books together. He falls asleep during treatments, and gets injuries that he doesn’t remember.

At night, he wonders who Mellie is and why he dreams about her.

He tries very hard to be his best, but he doesn’t think he ever is. He sees people getting treatments and thinks “Dollhouse” but he’s not sure what that means.

He wants to be his best. He would like that very much.

Before

This is crazy. This is crazy. He destroys his _life_ trying to bring down the Dollhouse and now he’s signing his life over to it, letting them steal his brain. This is _crazy_.

They were going to kill him – was prepared for them trying to kill him, for them succeeding to kill him, but this? This is insane. Signing over his body for five years?

But it’s too late now. He’s signed the papers, he’s in the chair, the lights are down and he’s about to lose everything he is, with no real guarantee he’ll ever get it back.

Madeline. Her name was Madeline. 

Madeline, not November, not Mellie: Madeline. Madeline. His name is Paul Ballard, he’s a former federal agent, and her name is Madeline, Madeline Madeline Madeline Mad-

**Author's Note:**

> To celebrate finally owning season one on dvd (and watching it through six times in as many days). A little “what if” for my favorite bit of (Jossed) Paul speculation.


End file.
